I’m 42, have only been drunk on love, and have lived the vast majority of my life sober. I’m not the soldier who crossed over to the deep end, got lost in the bottle, and found their way back; that’s courage & strength I only attempt to understand. The challenge of sobriety for me is the isolation I sometimes feel, even when standing next to you.

I’ve spent weeks trying to find the words for this post because there is so much to say & lots of room for misinterpretation; I decided to be as direct as possible.

This is NOT an ‘anti-alcohol’ / ‘anti-substance’ / ‘anti-society’ post - this is a ‘PRO-YOU’ post.

We live in a society where alcohol is a pillar of social life, but the list of mood-altering substances commonly used & accepted is continuously growing. - It is not my place to condemn any of it and ‘substance use’ isn’t all ‘bad,’ - but there is a thin line between anything being ‘medicine or poison’.

The truth is, I understand. We juggle mountains of responsibilities, navigate expectations, live lifestyles that gut us from the inside out, and chase superficial ideas of happiness. Then as social anxiety skyrockets, we carry robots in our pockets that steal our attention and make us feel that we should be somewhere else, doing something else, or be someone else. The desire to escape is understandable, at times, necessary.

With that said, after decades of observing & being surrounded by substance use, I can safely say, “I love you either way, but I like you far more when you're sober. Furthermore, I miss you when you're not.”

You carry an underlying vibration & essence, a pulse that contributes something unique to this world and those arround you (To my life). When under the influence, there is a point when that pulse begins to fade and leaves what I can only describe as an echo of your momentary absence. An echo that can sometimes be felt days after.

This doesn’t mean that you should avoid me if you are under the influence (or anyone else who is sober); please don’t, that would be heart-breaking. Just know that I don’t need you to be anyone else, I love you as you are and will always be here waiting eagerly for your pulse to return. ...

- God would rather be loved, not feared. -

I was recently asked if the tattoo on the top of my hand was a reminder that God was watching me; so I wouldn’t do things that were displeasing to God. - It took me a moment to wrap my head around the question.

I explained that ‘GOD’ tattooed on the top of my hand, was a reminder that Divinity lives in every human being, all aspects of creation, even in what appears as the dark aspects of our world. It is a reminder not that God is watching but that God is right there in every experience; it is a call to acknowledge ‘God’ and act accordingly.

I share this story because the age-old narrative of fearing God has carried on for far too long.

I don’t believe you can truly love someone you are afraid of, unless of course, your definition of love is conditional and toxic. Any relationship governed by fear would lack intimacy, breed inauthenticity, and it would be impossible to truly know someone or allow them to know you. Imagine that your friend, partner, or spouse was doing everything that made you happy and lit your heart on fire, but then you discovered they did these things not because they loved you but because they were afraid of your reaction if they didn’t. How would that feel to you? How is our relationship with God any different?

Consider that whatever divine agency or intelligence you relate to, call that God or some other name; doesn’t have ego or identity issues, and doesn’t use manipulation or intimidation to influence us. God wants to know us intimately - not at a distance. God would rather be loved than feared, and you cannot love someone you are afraid of. But again, that depends on your definition of love.

I often wonder if we missed the point when told we were made in the image & likeness of God. Instead of transcending all the egotistical, low-vibrational ways of being and elevating human consciousness to that of divine beings, we may have just painted God with conditional human emotions & qualities.

Ps. I love you; if this idea challenges previously held beliefs and meets intense resistance, just consider it food for thought. ...

We have all been conditioned, and it began from the day we were born. We were given a name and led to believe that we were separate from everything and everyone around us. We believed it.

Then we were ushered into belief systems, religions, global perspectives, lifestyles, and even careers. We were taught right from wrong, told what our lives should look like, and molded into carbon copies of previous generations. Over time we may discover and adopt ideologies that challenge our previous conditioning and bring us to realize the narratives we were told aren’t true; they were just socially accepted by some and never challenged.

This discovery is, by all means, a win for human evolution; however, it’s essential to acknowledge that even the movements we currently identify with, which aim to dissolve previous social narratives and dismantle systemic misalignments, carry their own conditioning.

To glimpse freedom, we must continue to question everything we believe and seek to understand where it came from and why we have chosen to believe it. Only in ongoing questioning and introspection can we discover our authentic truth; otherwise, we are simply puppets to someone else’s narrative or have been shackled by our previous ideas of who we thought we were.

Question your programming, reprogram if necessary, and when you think you have it dialed in and figured out, it could be time for a complete software upgrade.

#yoga #life #love #troyhadeed #emotionalintelligence #trinidadandtobago #popcorninmypocket #authorlife #caribbeanwriters #conditioning #questioning #truth #authentic #puppet #livingyoga #yogatrinidad #gaiatv #god #spirit #humanevolution #yamatalent ...

I can take this one in a few directions but let’s keep it simple. We are all here to learn specific things, if we had it all figured out, we probably would not be in a physical body.

For us to learn, we have to go through the curriculum, and each one of us has a different curriculum to navigate. This means we will experience loss, hurt, betrayal, pain, and even suffering; Sometimes at the hands of the people we love and admire most. There are times when we will be wronged, and times when we will be the wrongdoers. We will not always know better, and even when we do, it doesn’t mean we will always act accordingly.
Then there are moments when we will be blinded by our privileged, our narratives, and our sense of entitlement, while other times when we may be scared by our experiences and conditioning.

If our curriculum involves learning understanding, forgiveness, compassion, resilience, faith and love; then we will not only experience situations that give us the opportunity to learn these things but we will also need to know ingorance, pain, failure, humility, patience, guilt, shame, and defeat. Sometimes we will need to be broken so we can be rebuilt, and help rebuild others as well.

With all of this said, not only are we here to learn and go through the curriculum but so is everyone else. This means that we are part of their curriculum, and much of the time, our mistakes, shortcomings, hurt and pain are not only about our growth, but we are setting the stage for the growth of others as well.

Our approach towards the mistakes and ‘wrongdoing’ of others often involves all this anger, resentment, and talk of revenge' and karmic payback. While the misalignments of our society must be highlighted and addressed so we can learn from then, we should also approach mistakes and wrongdoing with honor and resepct; there is something for us to learn besides our desire to impart punishment and judgment on ourselves or others. ...

I know some of you are eager to hear about all that I took away from the darkness in 3 days. I didn’t stay 10 days as intended, but I stayed long enough and was gifted what I needed. You’re gonna have to wait for details though. For now I leave you with this nugget.

“There is always light in the darkness, sometimes we just don’t sit in the dark long enough to see it, or maybe it came in a different color or shade than we hoped.”

#yoga #life #love #troyhadeed #trinidad #yogatrinidad #caribbeanwriters #popcorninmypocket #livingyoga #authorlife #darkness #light #breathe #gaiatv #yamatalent #faith #prayer #trinidadandtobago
#spirit #God #beyondyogatv #santosha #nosuchthingasdarkness
#authorlife #caribbeanauthor ...

Hope is a beautiful thing, don’t get me wrong, but Hope and Faith are NOT interchangeable. At the elementary level hope implies an element of doubt, anxiety, worry, and is generally directed towards our desires and dreams. Faith is far bigger than hopes and dreams, and also carries an unwavering confidence and knowing.

Let’s drop a pin here and acknowledge that a belief in God or religion is not a prerequisite for anyone to have faith. On the contrary, faith comes first. It is due to one’s faith that we can even entertain the idea of God. In other words, consider that faith is an absolute knowing that we are part of something bigger than ourselves and that there is some force or intelligence guiding us, protecting us, and holding us close, even when we are face down in the mud.

Faith is what picks us up when our hope and dreams have been shattered and nothing appears to be going our way. Having faith is not the belief that we can manifest everything we desire or predict the future, it is understanding that there is an intelligence that dreams bigger than we do and has to consider things we may not yet understand. Faith is willing to risk failure because it understands that is part of the process.

To have faith is to show up with absolute commitment even when it’s hard and uncomfortable. With that said, faith is also having the courage to turn your life around, trust your intuition, and step into the unknown. Faith is bigger than our hopes and dreams, it is that constant whisper throughout all of the human experience that says, “Trust the process, trust the process, trust the process. You may fall, but I got you. Trust the process.”

The world at times can be heavy and appear to be in shambles. Sometimes its hard to see where we are heading or whats gonna come of it all, but Trust The Process. All we got to do is show up, do the best that you can, and trust. ...

A necessary reminder for sure. It seems that these days we are all caught up in wanting to be healers, but remember that healers must first commit to do the work to be healed themselves, and it is an ongoing process, the work is never done.

In the middle of holding space for a teacher training so can’t muster too much more for this caption but will leave this right here.

Feel free to share your thoughts.

LOVE ...

“Actions speak louder than words” is a social perspective we sometimes conviently adopt without questioning whether it is true. We throw it around when it serves our cause, but often it is unconscious manipulation. Actions do NOT always speak louder than words.

Firstly, words are far more powerful than we realize. We can do all the right things to make someone feel loved & supported, but saying hutful things can undo all of it. On the other hand, words can also heal the pain caused by the disconnect of our actions. The things we say have a real & tangible impact, they may not always align with our actions, but they can communicate our feelings & intentions.

You see, someone might try their very best to show up for us & love us, but we all have our conditioning, experiences, and even emotional disabilities that can prevent us from showing up for others in the ways they desire. Because someone does not embody or express their love in the way we need to be loved, does not mean someone doesn’t love or appreciate us. We sometimes have to communicate how we need to be loved and help someone remember what love means.

If you think everyone knows right from wrong and should know what it means to love and respect someone, not everyone does. As I’ve often mentioned, the greatest privilege in our world is having the experiences, support, and community that shows us what love is; the truth is that not everyone has that privilege.

Then there is intention. Someone might act in a way that makes you uncomfortable, challenges you, and even emotionally hurts you, but they could be doing their best or even acting out of what they think love is. Before we judge someone’s actions, it would serve us to understand their intentions, conditioning, and limitations.

In conclusion, actions speak louder than words sometimes, but not always. Authentic and vulnerable communication allows us to understand each other’s conditioning, dissolve our narratives, and then decide if we can accept someones actions. However, if someones actions are unacceptable, it doesn’t mean their itnentions are unpure, it could mean that they can’t do any better at that moment.

📸 @janedeclephotography ...